Once you've been married a while, you may find yourselves having the same arguments over the same issues over and over. Sometimes there is a stretch of time between revisiting the issue. Sometimes, the problematic issue pops up frequently. Either way, we're left with the truth that it is hard to change. I'm no expert, but my advice is 1) Learn from your mistakes (and stop making them!), 2) Let go (keep the past in the past) and 3) Be adaptable (if your partner is not going to change, maybe you need to change your expectations or your attitude). Let's work on getting ourselves out of that rut. We need to find some higher ground, but in order to reach higher ground, you need to climb a little. Changing takes work and effort. Above all, don't stop the honest communication. Avoiding a topic does not equal overcoming a problem.
The next time the same old argument starts between you and your spouse, pause and think about what you can do to improve the situation and avoid having this conflict in the future. Sometimes just looking at the problem from a different perspective (what am I doing to perpetuate this argument?) changes everything. I know it's hard, but you can accept responsibility for your part. You can change. You are powerful and wonderful and strong, and you are able to change yourself and your attitude and your outlook on life and in your marriage for the better. Today is the first day of the rest of your marriage. Make it merry! :)
