Hard Times

I haven't posted in a few weeks, mostly because my life has been stressful lately.  My marriage has been a little more difficult than usual lately.  I hesitate to share any personal stuff about my own marriage in such a public forum, but I would jut like to say that even though I love to write about how to have a happy marriage, I struggle as much as anyone else to achieve that happiness.  I know it is doable.  I believe in happy marriages.  Most of the time, I have a happy marriage.  But sometimes stressful situations put a strain on relationships, and that is part of life.  Sometimes, I have to put a lot more effort into being happily married than other times.  Sometimes, my husband has to remind me to go back and read one of my own posts!  :)  I keep this blog as much for my own benefit as for the benefit of others.  I never want to seem like I feel I have a better marriage than anyone else, or that I have all the answers.  I really don't, and I'm happy to admit that.  I just believe really strongly in happy marriages, and I want everyone else to believe in them too.   When I'm struggling, here's what I hold on to:
1) I chose this.  I chose this man.  I chose this marriage.  I committed to love him forever.
2) Be kind.  Be patient, meek, and long-suffering.  That's what the Lord has asked me to do.
3) There are good times and bad times.  There are easy times and hard times.  When things are hard, I know that they will get easy again.  Plenty of good times are ahead.
4) Communicate, communicate, communicate!
5) Don't ever start keeping score.  My job is to love without limits and to give all that I have to this marriage and my family.
6)  When I'm angry or frustrated, that's when I need to love and sacrifice and serve my husband.  Nothing dispels anger like doing something kind for the person you're angry with.

 "Harmony in marriage comes only when one esteems the welfare of his or her spouse among the highest of priorities. When that really happens, a celestial marriage becomes a reality, bringing great joy in this life and in the life to come...celestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than does any other relationship."~Russell M. Nelson

Kindness

Yesterday I was reading "Daughters In My Kingdom" and came across these bits of marriage advice from Joseph Smith.

For the ladies (about their husbands) "...treat them with mildness and affection.  When a man is borne down with trouble--when he is perplexed, if he can meet a smile, not an argument--if he can meet with mildness, it will calm down his soul and soothe his feelings.  When the mind is going to despair, it needs a solace...When you go home never give a cross word, but let kindness, charity and love, crown your works."  

For the men, a husband's duty is to "love, cherish, and nourish his wife" and "regard her feelings with tenderness."  

Simple kindness goes a long way.  These quotes remind me to think less about what is fair, and think more about how I can love, uplift, and encourage my spouse.  As we serve and sacrifice, our love grows, and we become happier.