Friday, June 27, 2014

Relationship Tip #2

Again, from Daniel Amen's book "Change your Brain, Change your Life", here is relationship tip #2:

"Never take the relationship for granted.  In order for relationships to be special, they need constant nurturing.  Relationships suffer when they get put low on the priority list of time and attention.  Focusing on what you want in a relationship is essential to making it happen."

My Take:  Your marriage is a very important factor in your overall happiness.  Don't put more time into watching your favorite TV show than working on your marriage, or put more effort into your work than your relationship, and then expect your marriage to be a success.  A happy marriage takes time and effort, but the rewards for your overall health and happiness are well worth it.  Married individuals live longer and are generally happier than single people.  Set aside some time each day for planning, nurturing, and improving your marriage.  You will not regret the effort!  :)

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Relationship Tip #1

I am reading the book, "Change Your Brain Change Your Life" by Dr. Daniel Amen.  I love it and would highly recommend it.  Dr. Amen outlines 10 "relational principles" to keep the deep limbic system healthy.  Borrowing from his book, I'm going to take each of his principles and apply it to marriage in my next several posts. 

Relationship Tip #1: " Take responsibility for keeping the relationship strong.  Don't be a person who blames his or her partner or friends for the relationship problems.  Take responsibility for the relationship and look for what you can do to improve it.  You'll feel empowered, and the relationship is likely to improve almost immediately."

My summary: It takes two to tango.  If your relationship has some difficulties, you are probably part of the problem.  It is easy to see the faults in your spouse, and not so easy to acknowledge your own shortcomings.  But when one person changes their attitude or actions, the whole system (relationship) changes.  So make the choice to make a change, and see how your marriage improves from your efforts.  :)