Protect your Relationship

Getting back to the tips from Dr. Daniel G Amen's book "Change your Brain, Change your Life"...
Tip number three is :  "Protect your relationship.  A surefire way to doom a relationship is to discount, belittle, or degrade the other person.  Protect your relationship by building up the other person." 

It's a no-brainer, really.  But how often do girlfriends get together and complain about (or laugh about)  their husbands?  And there is NO place for name-calling in a marriage.   Ever.  Let's just stop it.  Protect your spouse and your marriage as fiercely as you would protect your child from harm.

I remember very clearly a time about 5 years into our marriage when I was talking to my sister-in-law (my husband's sister), and she was saying how devoted my husband is to me and how lucky I am.  I wasn't feeling particularly lucky in love at the time, so I looked at her quizzically.  She replied that she had never heard my husband say one negative thing about me.  Ever.  Not to their parents, not to their mutual friends, and not to her.  At the time, it really struck me because I knew she couldn't say the same thing of me.  I felt terrible for ever saying anything negative about him to anyone else, and I had a new sense of appreciation for the fierce loyalty my husband had shown for me.  Since then, I have tried to be more loyal to him, and to protect our relationship from negativity.  It's funny how when you act a certain way in an effort to benefit your spouse, it ends up strengthening your relationship, and as a result, benefiting you. 

Here is a great article a friend of mine shared on this very topic: 

http://familyshare.com/marriage/how-would-you-feel-if-your-husband-said-this-about-you

great quote

Brigham Young once said: “When people are married, instead of trying to get rid of each other, reflect that you have made your choice, and strive to honor and keep it, do not manifest that you have acted unwisely and say that you have made a bad choice, nor let any body know that you think you have. You made your choice, stick to it, and strive to comfort and assist each other”

A Change of Heart

I love this article about one man's change of heart.  Realizing he could only change himself saved his marriage!  (That's kind of the theme of my marriage blog here, right?)  If you haven't read it yet, here is the link...


http://www.richardpaulevans.com/saved-marriage/