Being Vulnerable

     There is something really scary about opening yourself up to another person in total honesty, and letting them see and know the real you.  We all have little secrets that we hide from others.  For those of us who have been hurt and betrayed by someone we loved and trusted, this is especially true.  We keep our most vulnerable selves hidden deep inside, and only let others see what we want them to see.  In marriage, sometimes we hide the part of ourselves that we feel embarrassed about, or the part of ourselves that we are afraid no one else could understand or love.  It is difficult to trust someone enough to let down your guard and share everything about yourself with someone else. 
     Some people say that it is good to have some secrets in your marriage, but I disagree.  I believe it is best to be totally open and honest, even if that means being completely vulnerable to your spouse.  Some people keep a secret from their spouse to "protect" them from reality.  They don't want their spouse to know of a past misdeed, or a current habit that would upset their spouse.  I truly believe that your marriage cannot be whole and completely fulfilling until you are honest with your spouse, and you let them see and know the real you.  All of you. 
     Disclosing difficult truths to your spouse is not easy, and the initial results may be discouraging and frustrating.  When you are opening up to your spouse about something that will be hard for them to hear, prepare them by expressing your love for them, telling them why you are going to open up to them, and then giving them time and space to accept what you have told them. When you make yourself vulnerable like this, sometimes your relationship will seem to get worse before it gets better as one person takes time to process and accept their new reality.  But I believe your relationship will get better as you become totally honest with your spouse about who you are and how you feel.  You will feel closer, and there is a sense of happiness and security when we know that our spouse truly knows, loves, and accepts us.  Being vulnerable is scary, but it can be very rewarding.  I encourage you to give it a try.