Be the Change

I love this quote from Gandhi:  "Be the change you want to see in the world." This week, I was thinking about how it applies to marriage.  You can change the quote to "Be the change you want to see in your marriage."  When you ask married people what change they would like to see in their marriage, they usually mention their spouse (and often some habit or pet peeve that they want their spouse to change).  What's wrong with that?  Well, for one thing, you probably know by now that you can't change someone else.  The only person you can change is you.  Also, in marriage, it takes two.  Your spouse isn't perfect, but instead of focusing on their problems (which you can't change), why not look inward to see what you are doing to contribute to your dissatisfaction in your marriage?  At first it is uncomfortable to accept responsibility for some negative things that it is easier to blame your spouse for.  But then, it becomes empowering as you realize that you are more in control of your happiness in your marriage than you realized.  So look inward.  Be honest with yourself. What change would like you like to see in your marriage (not in your spouse, but in your marriage)?  What can you do to bring about that change?  YOU can be the change you want to see in your marriage!