Falling in love is easy. Falling in love is fun, exciting, exhilarating and wonderful. Staying in love is challenging. Choosing to love when you feel frustrated, tired, angry, disappointed, betrayed, or heartbroken is difficult. But anything worthwhile is difficult. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. Having a happy, stable marriage is worth every effort. Every tear shed, every prayer uttered, every selfish urge denied is well worth it. And not just for your own happiness, but for the happiness and well-being of your children and for the stability of society in general.
Fight for your marriage with all your heart and strength. Give everything you have--every ounce of patience, every speck of kindness, every bit of commitment...all you have in order to make it work. And at the end of the day, the kind of marriage you have will be well worth it. When you have a deep level of trust, security, happiness, and understanding, it is a more real and lasting joy than the giddy feeling of falling in love can ever supply.
Being happy in your marriage is much more under your control than most of us realize. Choose to love, even when it is hard. Choose to be happy. Choose to be kind. Choose to be generous, unselfish, and trusting. If you don't like the state of your marriage, change yourself to be a better spouse. Most of us waste a lot of time and energy waiting for our partner to change, instead of looking inward and working on ourselves. Stop focusing on your spouse's deficiencies and look in the mirror. How can you become better? What can you do to express your love more? What grudges do you need to let go of? What frustrations are you holding in, but holding onto?
The interesting thing about marriage is that you never reach a point where you don't have to put in effort. Some times will be easier than others. But you have to work on staying in love every day. Put in the work, and you will see results. If you want to be happier, work a little harder. Choose to stay in love. It is a choice. It takes effort and sacrifice. But it is worth it!
