Speak Up!

Silence is no good for a relationship.  Silence is isolating.  Silence can be frustrating.  And most importantly, silence prevents you from communicating, bonding, and feeling close to your spouse.  Some people use silence as a means of asserting control over their partner.  Some people use silence to punish their spouse.  Some people are silent instead of expressing their feelings because they don't like conflict and don't want to start a fight.  Good intentions, but bad results.  Read this quote from an article in Psychology Today:

"When you can express what you’re feeling—in the moment that you’re experiencing it—there’s much less likelihood that you’ll act out on that feeling. Problematic feelings that go unexpressed tend to percolate and boil over—they take on energy of their own, and the ensuing conflict hours or days later may have little correlation to the original emotional insult. When this occurs there’s little chance of being validated, as there may be little correspondence between your hurt feelings and the disruption of the moment."

Holding your feelings in is not helping your relationship.  It does not make you a better person.  It is unhealthy and ultimately causes much bigger problems than expressing your frustration or anger in the moment.  So communicate often.  Talk about your feelings, your frustrations, your hopes and your relationship.  Express your love for each other often, but make sure to express your frustrations too.  The whole Psychology Today article can be found here: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shift-mind/201401/silence-relationship-killer?tr=MostViewed