Setting Boundaries

When a couple marries, they each bring a different set of values, beliefs, communication skills, habits, and expectations to the union.  Combining two separate behavior patterns into one healthy relationship can be challenging.  One thing that can really help is to communicate about your expectations, and set boundaries.  By setting boundaries, I mean to agree together on what things are not acceptable in your marriage.  For example, you might agree that you will never let an argument turn into a physical fight.  Or you might decide not to discuss your sex life with others.  You could decide not to raise your voices to each other.  You might make rules about not going out to eat alone with a member of the opposite sex.  These are just some examples of the types of things that might be important for you to set boundaries about so that you are both clear on each others' expectations (you may or may not find these examples relevant or important--but the key is to decide what is important to you individually and as a couple).  

OK, so what about those of us who are not newlyweds?  It might be harder to establish boundaries when you have already developed certain patterns of behavior within your marriage.  But is is never too late to communicate with each other about what is important to each of you, and what boundaries you feel are important.   Just remember that habits are hard to break, but it can be done.  And we are all only human.  The most important thing about setting boundaries is open, honest, respectful communication.   It is always better to communicate your expectations than to assume that you both feel the same way.  So think about your marriage.  Are all of your boundaries clearly established?  If not, have a conversation today with your spouse!