"Although retirement does not generally have big effects on marital quality, it is not inconsequential. Positive changes brought about by retirement include increased freedom to develop joint endeavors, increased companionship, fewer time pressures, and a more relaxed atmosphere at home. Spouses who engage in joint decision-making and shared activities are especially likely to benefit from retirement.
Retirement may also be disruptive. The dominant theme is wives’ complaints about husbands being underfoot, a lack of privacy, and too much togetherness. Younger and working wives also complain about a lack of assistance with household chores. For husbands, the dominant theme is dismay about their wives’ humdrum routines (this is likely a cohort effect) as well as dismay that their wives have an on-going social life that does not include them.
For most couples, it appears that retirement brings some issues that are conflictual or disruptive, and that most couples adapt to their new stage of life. Overall, for most couples, the quality of marital life appears to remain the same -- those who had strong marriages before retirement continue to have strong marriages afterward, and those who had problematic marriages before continue in the same vein after."
"The dominant theme is wives’ complaints about husbands being underfoot, a lack of privacy, and too much togetherness." Is it me or is that what some mothers complain about their kids? I see this irony in life that we are kept from the things we want (like time with our husbands) long enough so that when we finally get them we have to figure out how to adjust (to what we wanted in the first place!)
ReplyDeleteHow funny, Tamara! Yeah, be careful what you wish for I guess. (: I think the key is to be happy in your current circumstance because the grass is not always greener. If we spend all our time now wishing we had more time with our husbands, and all our time then lamenting too much time together, we are never really happy at all.
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